Who Pissed Off the Weather Gods?

I have lived in Michigan my entire life so I am not overly surprised by sudden changes in the weather. Our family motto is "Take a coat with you. You can always take it off, but you can't put it on if you don't have it." This is why I often get a strange look from people when I go into a store with my nephew and niece, both of which are carrying their heavy coats with them in 90 degree weather. Laugh it up people! In Michigan, Christmas in July may actually be accompanied by snow, and we are going to be ready for it. However, this year has been especially bad. I don't know who pissed off the Weather Gods, but they better do something to make amends and change the bad ju-ju. This is nuts.
I have seen large snowfalls. I have seen down pours. I once went Trick-or-Treating in slush, and before the night was over I had to take off my snow suit *because it was nearly 70 degrees. But this is

a bit much. Michigan was suffering from bazaar weather long before Al Gore made that Global Warming movie. This year (in April, mind you) we have had nearly 65 degree weather, rain, snow, sleet, flooding, and residents that are at their wits end. Most of that has happened in about a  3 day span. I don't think that stupid groundhog knows his ass from a hole in the ground: that is all I'm saying. I never thought that I would see the day that I was hoping that the rain would turn to snow just so that the road wouldn't flood completely out. Even though I live on a dirt road** I know that I am not the only person that is feeling this way. I also never thought that I would be grateful to not have a basement. I am sure that the sump pumps are working overtime. "Ralphy, go to the basement, get in the canoe, and paddle over to the Christmas decorations to get the cat. He isn't going to be hunting mice down there for awhile. They have all gone to higher ground."

Today, we are experience something like 40 mph winds, and I can't help but think that even Winnie-the-Pooh would have let Piglet's scarf go on a day like to day. He would have gone into his tree-house made a spot of tea (with "hunny" of course), and began to write a very heartwarming and sincere eulogy for his tiny friend. Every man for himself! The river has crept out of his bed, the wind is more than blustery, and Eeyore's house was long ago washed out. It has rained, the wind has blown, and it actually snowed rather heavily for a good 20 minutes before reverting back to the rain state today. I don't whether I should put on rain boots or a parka to go check the mail. Probably both! Oh, who am I kidding? Fuck the mail. It is too damn Bi-Polar to go outside, and the only thing out there is junk mail and bills. Who needs that kind of aggravation? 

* Yes, I said, "snow suit". In Michigan it is not uncommon for children to wear layers of clothes under their Halloween costume. They are often designed to fit over sweatpants, waders, snow pants, and winter coats. Tiaras, wigs, and horns are all designed to fit atop stocking caps and hoods, as well. That is true devotion to candy and holiday spirit.
**For those of you that don't know what it is: A dirt road is just that, an unpaved "back road" or "secondary road" that is dirt top or gravel for part of the year, a mud bogging pit for part of the year, and a solid sheet of glass-like ice for the rest of the year. But hey, at least the one I live on is sparsely neighbored.