If pets were meant to wear clothes...

If pets were meant to wear clothes and head gear they wouldn't have fur. Think about it: there is really no reason to put any type of clothing on your pet. I am not saying that I am totally not guilty of this myself, but that doesn't make it right. There has never been (no matter what you think) a pet that has woken up thinking, "I wonder what I should wear today. I sure hope that it matches that pink clutch that she loves. Even though I am a boy (and they have cut off my nuts), I really dig that pink sweater and polka-dot bow-tie she makes me wear." Never-going-to-happen.

Case and point... Does this look like a happy face to you?

I am not placing guilt or blame on children (especially little girls) that spend their day dressing their kitty in baby bonnets and doll clothes. This is natural and to the animal is brave enough to stick around, it is a phase that will pass eventually (hang in there Mr. Jeremiah Snowball Fluffyface your patience will be rewarded). Also, I am not saying that the occasional holiday photo or card is not an adorable thing to find in the mail box or a photo album, but again the animals are not waiting with bated breath to wear those red felt, reindeer antlers that light up and tink-tink-tink Jingle Bells.

In case you are not believing me...

I am almost positive that most times they view this as a type of torture designed to make them hot, uncomfortable, and miserable. Hello! Animals are not built like people, and even though that Joe's Crab Shack t-shirt fits your Boxer, and looks adorable, I am sure that he is not comfortable in it. That is why the neck is stretched out and in the wrong place, and he is barely able to move his front legs. The only dog that this look worked for was Spudz McKenzie. About the only thing that (I speculate) an animal may enjoy is the sunglasses; no one enjoys blinding sunlight while riding in the car. Now let me clarify, I am not saying that putting a sweater on a hairless dog or cat in the middle of winter is a bad idea. But what the hell were you thinking getting a hairless animal when you live in cold weather climate? Did you not foresee this poor animal's eventual discomfort and fear of the outdoors? This is not a great idea. Think before you purchase, adopt, save, or inherit an animal. Just because they are adorable doesn't mean that you are a destined-by-the-gods perfect match.
The idea of entire clothing lines for animals (designed specifically so that they fit animals) is also a weird industry. In America, every year there is something like a bizzlion dollars spent on animal clothes and accessories.* I just think that if you stood back and gave a good thought to the better things that you could be doing with the money you are spending on this you could think of better things to do. Your animals are not accessories people, they don't care if the two of you match, and they are not interested in look chic and sassy.

Okay, there is an exception to every rule. This cat is rocking this sweater, and he knows it.

* This obviously is not a real statistic. Just because you read it here, on the Internet, it doesn't make it true. We will talk about that at greater length later...