10 Reasons That It Is Not Cool To Talk Pokemon In You 20's

After listening to a rather lengthy conversation of 4 people on a college campus that will never get laid, I feel that it is important to help everyone understand why it is not cool to talk about Pokemon when you are in your 20's.

1. YOU ARE IN YOUR 20's (and one of you is on the better side of 30)! This was cute when you were five and thought that the animals were adorable and they were the inspiration for your Halloween costume. But you are not 5 anymore, are you? Let me help you out...NO YOU ARE NOT!!

2. If you think that your vast knowledge of the Pokemon Universe is going to get you laid you are sadly mistaken. No woman that has any self confidence or respect is going out into the world on a daily basis to troll for a man who knows how many hit points take down another character.

3. There is no practical application for the knowledge you possess. This will not help you balance your check book or live in the real world. You will never be mugged by Beedril, and if you were you would shit your pants and pass out because you don't have enough life experience to handle confrontation in the real world.

4. It is perfectly acceptable to work in a space that is designed for you to do so when you are on a COLLEGE CAMPUS!! This space is not an oportunity for you and your mouth breathers to get you game on. The rest of us are not impressed.  P.S. That Pikachu tattoo you are sporting is only cool to you and your five basement-dwelling friends. The rest of us get a huge laugh out of it...and not in a good way.

5. Knowing the proper name of a Pokemon character and using their catch phrase as an explicitive in a sentence is not cute...see number 1.

6. (To the one girl in this group.) You are a girl. You are smarter than this. Even in a stocking cap you have a better chance of getting laid than any other person in this group. Face it you have boobs. Use them. There is a whole world outside the realm of where-ever-the-fuck-Pokemon takes place, be a part of it.

7. Pokemon had its day, just like Power Rangers. That day is over. Face it and move on.

8. You shame your mother every time you make some heated monolog about the validity of one character and not the other. She was excited when you go into college. She thought that this was going to be a way to leave all of this behind. Do you hear her crying? She is said...it is because you collect Pokemon paraphernalia (and from what I gather you also play Magic). She weeps for you.

9. You did not win any competition that paid you $10,000 for being an all knowing Pokemon God. We know that was crap...well except the girl in the hat. She got that starry look in her eyes.

10. You have admitting to using cheats. You suck just like everyone else. If you are going to use cheats don't admit . Any claim to wonderment and all-knowing-ness that you thought you had is now moot. Dumbass!

I am not going to say that we don't all game from time to time. I am not going to say that I have never played Magic or any other less than cool fantasy game. The difference I am not nearly thirty and defining my day by knowledge and ability to play those games. If you are going to live in a fantasy world do something constructive with it. Memorizing a playbook for a card game...yes it is a card game is not going to make you cooler in the Old Folks Home so get out in the real world. your grandchildren (assuming that you will one day have them) want to hear about your naughty exploits and war stories they are not going to want you to rehash the great Pokemon battle of 2013. NO ONE CARES!!!