Dear Mom and Dad,

Thank you so much for making me an only child. After spending sometime with my cousin's children I realize how complicated it must be to be a sibling. I am grateful that I didn't have to play games that were made up as they went along with rules that are always changing so that the creator is destined to win. I am grateful that I didn't have feet in my face as I slept or a face in my face as soon as I woke up from a nap that would have been more restful had my sister used her "indoor voice". Likewise, I am grateful that my shoes, clothes, toys, snacks, and room were my own.
It simple amazes me to watch the dynamics between siblings. When there are two they are together forever; them against the world. When there are three, it is every man for himself. How ever when there is three children, there is the occasion when it is two against one: two sisters against one brother (Good luck, Buddy!) or two younger siblings against the oldest (after 5 years of being the boss...you are going down) or the oldest and the youngest against the middle child ("I have an idea, and you are small enough to do the recon and young enough to take the blame). It is an interesting system of hierarchy. I feel like someone from the National Geographic or the Discovery Channel making a documentary on the early learning habits and cohabitation of humanoid young. If there are life forms on other planets there must be television feeds that stream the day-to-day play of children in an attempt to better understand our race of beings.
I find myself envious when I watch a child say no or refuse to follow direction. Instead, of the overly exhausted mother (that can barely remember if she had showered, let alone where her car keys are) submit to the abuse and tantrums of her children. "I don't want to wear that!!! I want to wear this!!!" "FINE! Just get dressed I have to go get groceries so that the baby has diapers! This dishtowel diaper is not going to last for long, and we have to be home that you can watch Dora!" After loosing the battle, it appears as though the mother doesn't even seem to notice that her child is dressed in striped pants, a tutu, rubber boots, a tank top, a cameo jacket, and a cowboy (or girl) hat. However, everyone else that doesn't suffer blindness notices. Let's no longer judge this mother, you may have also gotten up at 7 A.M., but her day has been much longer than yours. A child's ability to make their parent (or any adult) complacent to their irrational wants and needs is amazing.                             
Truth be told, my non-existent siblings are probably glad that I was not their sister. Let's face it, I am not a ray of sunshine. I am sure that the unwanted sharing of my shoes, clothes, toys, snacks, and room would have resulted in endless knock-down-drag-outs. Hell, my closest cousins can contest to my attitude toward sharing and following direction. Even if I had siblings I probably wouldn't anymore.
So thank you Mom and Dad, for having the forsight to see that I needed to be an only child. That it was in your best interest to make me so. I think we have all benefited from it.

I salute you! Sincerely,
Me
Your loving daughter and only child, who never really understood why I was an only child until recently.