Five days and counting...

After nearly 3 years of classes, research, late nights, and early mornings my college career is coming to a close. I graduate (ceremony and all) on Saturday. What a wonderful and fulfilling experience. I am ready for the world and all that it has to throw at me. I can't wait to start my career and be a valuable member of society. It is all sunshine and puppy dogs from here. I am single-handedly going to save the world, feed the hungry, create world peace, and invent the umbrella that will shade the Earth and stop global warming. I simply can not wait...

Cue the record screech...

You couldn't have possibly thought I was serious.

I have no fucking clue what comes next. I know, I know job, car, bills, house, blah, blah, blah. But seriously, what comes next? I have worked, droned, cried, lost sleep, smoked profusely, and busted my ass to get this far, and I realize now that this plan may not have been fully developed. I am sure, however, that I have shaved a couple of years off my life, and very recently a friend of mine noted that I had a significant patch of gray hair on the back of my head (thanks a lot some friend you are). I am clueless to how to best pursue the next stage of this endeavor. 
I realize that I am doing this about 5 years later than most people, but I assure you I am just as unprepared as any other newly graduated college student. Not to mention that I am already living with my parents because I am too damn broke and irresponsible to take care of myself (How much lower can I sink?). I find myself reading every article that I come across to read what jobs are or are not in fashion. I wait as the page loads (See"Let's Talk About Dial-Up") with bated breath, chewing my nails to nubs hoping that my field is or is not on the list. This is promptly followed by a laundry list of "what-ifs" that either comfort me or make me stress and worry even more. But seriously, what if?
What if I can't find anything in the next few months? Did I really do all this work so that I can work minimum wage? What if I can't even get one of those because some pimply faced douche-bag tells me that I am over qualified? Do you want to play 20 questions? Do you want fries with that?
Also, to all of you that think that the student loan people will not find you, contact you, or if you think that they will not be as diligent as you thought they would about the actual date repayment is starting to be calculated: You. Are.Wrong. They are not your credit card company or your grandma; they want their money and they will get it.
In conclusion, (a good way to start the final restatement of my original thesis) I have 5 days (and counting) to concluding my college career. I have no clue what is next, or how best to carry on with my life without college being a defining part of it. All I do know is this. In 5 days my parents are going to be WAY more excited than I am. While they are wiping tears of joy I am going to be white-knuckling the wheel trying to figure out the next direction to go. Their baby may be graduating from college, but surprise she is still going to be living in the room that you wanted to turn into a laundry room. And she has no fucking clue when she is leaving.

 Hey Mom and Dad, since I'm not going anywhere and I have lived with you so long that it makes more sense to wait you out than move away and since you are paying all of the bills and have the grocery budget figured out and my cats would never get fed unless you were the first ones up in the morning, how do you feel about graduate school? Just asking.